Adrien's Story

     Diary entry:  November 10, 2008:  I wish I never enlisted.  I miss my sister, my girlfriend Suzanne and I cannot talk to any of them including my parents.  We cannot have cell phones.  I can talk to my mother in code on occasion.  
     I wish I could talk to Daniel and Robert, but I almost feel I have drifted too far.  I do not know how much we would have in common if I ever go home.  I have seen so much death here.  We do not get to sleep much and when I do, it is hard to fall asleep.
    They call this Operation Iraqi Freedom, our mission, but I have seen civilians die, like kids playing soccer near a car explosion.  I saw a buddy get blown up, and several injured sent to the hospital in Germany, including Sargent Deborah.  I liked her.  I hope Suzanne never reads this.  I mean I am pretty sure she is gay, because of certain things, but we still have Clinton's "don't ask, don't tell" policy.
     I have been here for six months, but this is my second tour and it seems like forever.  I am hoping that I can go home soon.  They say some of these guys have done tours as long as a year.  I would hate that.  It would be unfortunate for me, but hopefully I can go home and see my family soon.  
     Obama was elected president.  I know Mom and Dad were for McCain, but I know first hand this has to end.  They say the exit date is around November 2011, a long way off, three years.
     It is so hot in Bhagdad.  It's like hell.  We wash our uniforms in bottled water and bathe in it too.  Soap is a luxury.  Boot camp never prepared me for any of this, the mosquitoes, the death toll, the injuries.  One thing they do not realize is the civilian casualties.  
     There's a doctor here, a real liberal.  Once Fahrenheit 911 came out a few years ago, before I was was ever deployed, there were mixed feelings here from soldiers.  Dr. John Carlson thinks Michael Moore is a genius.  All I know is I wanted to serve my country, and hoped that after I would go to college.  I think my parents are proud.  Dad was a general.  I just wish I could walk away sometimes, but you can't.
     We walked through the muck yesterday, looking to take out a terrorist who I will just call Ali (we have a friend at home with that name) and we never did.  Gunfire sounds sent us back.  We begin again tomorrow, in search of him.  Sometimes I know this is wrong, but I am here and I cannot change that.
     I fear our brigade commander may be a "toxic" one.  He has been reckless, causing us to go through an explosion in our jeeps, which was when Jimmy got injured, went into shock and died.  It was the worst thing I have seen.  
     We are not to fire unless necessary, but he has ordered us to fire killing unnecessarily.  I know the Iraqi soldiers as well as our enemies the Iranian Soldiers and insurgents are dying in high casualties.  The death toll is higher than anyone in the U.S. knows.  
     Here I am and I do not even know sometimes why we are fighting.
     I have been told by other soldiers that were here in 2004, that I am lucky to have missed Fallujah, the bloodiest battle of this war.  Fallujah is at the center of Iraq.  This battle was called Operation Phantom Fury or in Arabic Al-Fajr, which means "the dawn."
     
     Two months earlier:  Diary Entry:  September 15, 2008:  Now is the holy month in the Muslim religion called Ramadan.  There have been bombings in Bhagdad randomly.  We gained independence for the province of Anbar this month, in the northwest corner of Iraq.
    I am tired but sleep does not come easy and I have nightmares often.  The nightmares are hard to distinguish from reality.  I wonder if I am really strong enough.  Can I keep on through this?  Sometimes I feel like I can't, but I do not have a choice.  I have to keep believing that what we are accomplishing is for good.  It just does not feel that way anymore.
    
    Diary entry:  November 14, 2008:  We are still in pursuit of Ali.  Our first team brigade led by Sargent Kincaid will head out in the morning before dawn.  We have searched for him for days, following false leads, turning back from gunshots and explosions.  
     
     Traveling on that following day on the dawn of November fifteenth, Sargent Kincaid ordered Adrien and two other privates to pursue a lead at the house of a civilian where a bomb exploded.  
     
     "Adrien!  Thomas!  Michael!  Intelligence has informed me that Ali is in hiding in this vicinity.  Now, keep in mind these people are not hostiles.  Do not shoot.  I repeat, shoot if you get a clear shot of Ali.  Be careful.  The place may have a bomb set.  I am going to be posted here with Carlos, Shane and Robin, to watch for hostiles in the area.  I repeat do not fire.  We cannot have more civilian casualties on our hands.  We have already been questioned by General Bradshaw and Sargent Haynes.  We can't afford to screw this up.  Consider Ali to be armed and dangerous.  I repeat, he may have explosives on him or anywhere in the vicinity.  This is a highly dangerous mission.  Wait until you have a clear shot!"


     Ali was there, and reached for his rifle, ammunition  strapped to his waste.   Michael, Thomas and Adrien fired rifles in execution of Ali, but Adrien and both privates were injured and killed when they tried to save the family living in that house from explosives, two of which he got out, but Adrien and four other civilian Iraqis along with the two other American soldiers perished in the exploding building.  Of the Iraqi family, the two survivors were children.  The four others who were killed were the mother and two more children as well as the grandmother.  Two more children went to an Iraqi orphanage that November day.  Their father had already been killed months before. 
     
     Later that day another brigade's truck blew up when it hit explosives.  Adrien was one of many casualties that day, and yet he had died trying to save the lives of others.
      The U.S. Military came to Vermont to give a funeral for Adrien as a hero of the war.  The day he died he had no thoughts of heroism.  He thought of nothing, but trying to save innocent life, and he did, but Adrien was only eighteen years old.  He had been brave, but he had been afraid, somehow knowing that doom was drawing near to him, disillusioned and saddened by the war.
     
     Later, Sargent Kincaid was again questioned, since he had been considered possibly a "toxic" leader, because it may have been reckless to send in three soldiers, and could he have prevented the civilian casualties?  However it was deemed that Sargent Kincaid had acted appropriately after the three other soldiers present had been questioned by Sargent Kincaid's superiors.


Author's note:  In my research for this war story, I found casualties on all fronts in the hundreds of thousands, looking at every month that the Iraq war went on, including American soldiers, Iraqi soldiers, Iranian soldiers and sadly as well civilian women, men and children.  
     I also researched the individual deaths of soldiers, many of which said noncombat related or not to do with hostiles, which I find a little bit curious, and suspicious.  I will continue this project, possibly write an entire book based on Operation Iraqi Freedom commonly known as the war in Iraq, which most of us knew was wrong, and yet we support our troops, for we must as Americans.  
     Soldiers are doing too many tours, and one soldier killed civilians and is in deep trouble.  While there is no excuse for this, some think it may have been caused by PTSD or an overlooked condition of brain damage, which should have made him 4F.  Also, it has been said that he may have been under the influence of alcohol.
     Part of me feels:  What audacity do I have writing about this?  I am not a soldier.  The only member of my family who was in a war was my maternal grandfather, Private Hyman Silverman who fought in WWI, and was highly decorated for carrying injured men off the battlefield to the field hospital with metal in his ear from the explosion.  He could never hear well after that.  It was a highly dangerous mission he had volunteered for.
     In answer to my own question, I do not know why I want to write about this.  Possibly my writing of American Boys which is where my fictional character, Adrien came from.  He is not really a character in a sense, because he is universal and real, because there are others like him and many, although all individual human beings with courage, fears and sorrow like everyone, which is why I posted James Blunt's song, No Bravery in two separate videos on fb.  
      
     Note:  I made one error which my brother brought to my attention.  Although my grandfather Hyman Silverman was a private when he was injured and rescued fellow soldiers due to a very dangerous mission, he was actually ranked Corporal of the 60th division of the U.S. Army, and decorated with the Distinguished Service Cross in Vendum, France on October 27th, 1918.