Should Snap/ the Food Stamp Program be Controlled to the Point of Eliminating Junk Food Altogether?

   

     On the news last night, they were talking about this new policy, which might take effect, where people on food stamps could no longer buy such foods as potato chips and candy, etc., things which are so called, bad for you or just fattening I suppose.
     I had more than one feeling about it.  I suppose there are two or three reasons why they might do this, but first I will tell you what I believe to be the cons.  Feel free at the end of my blog, at the bottom, or on facebook, to state your own opinions.
     These are reasons why I think this might not be a good idea, having been a single parent, and having had food stamps, or food benefits, which is actually on a card now, not actual stamps, at various hard times: 1) there are already restrictions on what can be bought with food stamps, such as you cannot buy alcohol, cigarettes, paper products, shampoo, and anything inedible, but also not hot prepared food in the grocery store, such as a rotisserie chicken, unless cold, or anything hot from the deli, and energy drinks, other than coffee, such as ginseng, etc., 2) this may be too much government control of private lives, although I know that the first lady, Michelle Obama has made childhood obesity a cause, so I know where they are coming from, although I think it is the conservatives who want this, to cut spending, although I am not sure, 3) country folk, who shop at country stores, buy a lot of these types of food, and store owners may suffer, because there are many poor people in the country, especially the south, and 4) sometimes it is enjoyable to eat so called junk food, such as potato chips or cheese doodles, and chocolate, which can be good for you, as well as Coca Cola.  It was a pleasant surprise to me, to be able to buy such things as candy, like for Halloween.  Life can be dull enough.  Live dangerously, lol, although candy is not good for one's teeth, unless you brush them right after and still not so great, and although good chocolate has some health benefits, such as antioxidants, most candy is just junk.  See more further down in this article.
     Now, I will say why I think, perhaps this makes sense, and could possibly be a good thing: 1) Michelle Obama is right about the morbidity of childhood obesity.  Empty calories cause fat cells in childhood, which can remain through adulthood, and obese or even overweight children and adults have a higher chance of getting diabetes and/ or high blood pressure, not to mention high cholesterol, the bad kind, 2) it could change the eating habits of Americans, including the poor, who may lack education, but food prices for healthy food are higher, so could they really get enough food?  Look at how much more expensive a loaf of multi-grain bread is, compared to a loaf of white or low quality wheat bread, but I am going back to cons again.  Sorry.  3) Perhaps it would cut pork, no pun intended, on a conservative level, and it could be a cruel to be kind maneuver, in that sense, because perhaps American eating habits on a massive scale could improve, but not without education.  I can see where this would all be difficult, and I know how little food money people actually get to feed a family.  Prices on good food, such as fresh fish, free range eggs, soy milk, fresh vegetables and fruit, would have to get lower, and you know as well as I, how expensive food is right now.  It is outrageous, especially if you are trying to eat healthy at all, not to mention free swimming salmon and what not.  I mean, get a reality check.  Is this even available to the country living poor on any level?  They do not even have this stuff!  They do not even know about it.  Do we have a Mother Teresa for poor Americans?  No, of course not, not to be flippant.  As wonderful and well meaning as Mrs. Obama, she has other things to do as first lady, and this is a huge country, the size of the whole continent of Australia, geographically.
     That is really all I have to say about it.  I had three reasons on both fronts.  Tell me what you think.  I added a picture of me having a decadent McDonald's frappe, so you will know that, although I try to eat healthy, I like a yummy treat just as much as anyone, if you get the point.  Of course you cannot use food stamps in restaurants, bare in mind.

About Fiction Writing

     As you may know, I am not just a blogger, but a fiction writer.  Aside from American Boys, I have written a novella called The Farm, which is not on line, but I have the manuscript, although it has not been published.
     I enjoy listening to a large eclectic selection of fiction and nonfiction.  I enjoy Dean Koontz, Stephen King, Elizabeth Berg, Fanny Flag, and in the nonfiction, Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra and Neil Donald Walcsh, and of course many others in both categories, and of course I realize my taste in fiction varies.  I also like historical fiction, as well as historical biographies and books about history, such as Man Hunt, about the search for Bin Ladin, similar to the movie Zero Dark Thirty, but in much more detail and historical fiction such as An Unbroken Chain, My Journey Through the Nazi Holocaust.  
     One author of a biography of Abraham Lincoln, I read, in the forward explained that although accused of plagiarizing, had merely had to use other people's work for research.  Anyone knows, who ever took English 102 in college, writing a term paper with research and footnotes, that this is necessary.  You just need footnotes and a bibliography, as well as quotations.  I admit that writing Adrien's Story, an addition to American Boys, the story of an American soldier in Iraq, his journal in first person, and the demise of him in Baghdad, in writing this piece, I did hours and hours of research on Operation Iraqi Freedom, including excerpts from novels written about the war in Iraq.  I learned some disturbing things about the death tole, cover-ups, toxic leaders, and so forth.
     Today I woke up thinking about writing fiction.  Stephen King always writes about a writer, who is a recovering alcoholic, who is married with kids, and lives in Maine, almost always anyway.  Essentially, he is always writing about himself.  I guess what better to write about than one's own experience, although it could be redundant.  So, anyway, I thought I could write about a woman writer like me...  who lives in the south.  Then I began thinking about my character, Megan, from my novella, The Farm.
     If it were published, the book jacket could say this:
     After learning of her husband's affair, Megan Washburn divorces him, taking her nine year old son, Noah and their German Shepard, Rocky to live on her newly inherited farm, from her grandmother, in South Carolina, near the coast and Charleston, about two hours south of Myrtle Beach.  Michael, her ex husband, is literally coming apart at the seems, an elementary school teacher in Denver, Colorado.
     Megan learns many shocking secrets about her grandmother, and must learn to care for horses, with the help of a veterinarian and the Chestnuts, who live near by.  
     She has a brief encounter with a shady hired hand, and Susan, her best friend comes to live with her, pregnant, but not married.  Susan and Megan are both book editors.  
     Shocking twists of events occur, even danger, as Michael comes to reclaim his family, and Megan's estranged relationship with her own mother and sister come into play.
     Scary, heartwarming, adventurous, and romantic, The Farm will keep you captivated with its old worldly charm, and unexpected turn of events.  Read and let it unfold. 

Forgiving Oneself/ Forgiving Others

     Grief, so many facets, indescribable, sinks into every fiber of our being from time to time.  There is no escape from it, whether it be a death, a break up, a divorce, being apart from one's children when they are young, loss of your home you loved.
     When things go wrong, even though sometimes one feels relieved to be out of a bad situation, it is still very hard for all parties concerned.  The only way through is to be strong.  Although blaming another person is not the answer, blaming oneself is worse.  You may ask God to forgive you, but even better ask God to help you forgive yourself.
       Dear God,
            I know that You are all forgiving.
      Please help me to forgive myself
      and others, involved in this 
      entanglement.
              Amen

     Once my perception is corrected, radical forgiveness, I can go on.  I can forgive someone else, and myself.  If I take all responsibility, I am not being fair to myself.  We all have a role to play.  The worst suffering in relationships, is blaming oneself.  This can lead to no good.  How can one heal this way?  I suppose eventually the light will sink in, and we will know that we are not to blame, but feeling guilty is one of the worst feelings imaginable.  
     Although it is important to take accountability and take an honest inventory of oneself, it is also important to see the bigger picture.  It does no good to try to carry the weight of the world.  
     Dear God,
           I cannot bare this burden any      
      longer.  Please help me see clearly,
      for I cannot do this alone.  Bring Your
      guidance to me, and help...  (other said 
      person as well.)
            Amen

How the Collective Consciousness is Changing

     As a member of the Meher Baba 'world', I know that many, or some, Baba lovers think they, and only they, have the answers.  I used to be like that.
     The truth is that the world is being turned inside out and upside down, and everything is changing at a fast rate.  I don't know if 'Jupiter aligns with Mars... the Dawning of the Age of Aquarius...', but I do know of so many great philosophers of our time, and it did not just start with the new age movement.
     Just look at Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, or before that Helen Keller, and now more people than just Meher Baba, are amazing teachers, Eckhart Tolle, Deepak Chopra, Guru Maiy, Helen and Bill who wrote A Course in Miracles, Alcoholics Anonymous, written by Bill W., Dr. Bob Silkworth, the other Dr. Bob, and the tellers of their own stories, etc..  And, ACIM includes great influences, not avatars like Baba, Jesus or Krishna, but great none the less in their elevating consciousness influence, Marianne Williamson, Wayne Dyer, Ken Wapnick, Neil Donald Walcsh, to name just a few, although N.D.W., author of Conversations With God, Happier than God, and many other famous books, mentions ACIM, but is not officially A Course in Miracles based author, philosopher and teacher.
     Of course we can go back to the eighties, to Louise Haye, Money Love, iridology and so forth, but truthfully I find rebirthing and a lot of that eighties stuff, to be behind the times and almost funny now.  When people bring that stuff up, like they just heard about it, I say, "how eighties," sardonically, but I suppose when I talk about Marianne Williamson, some people think, "how nineties."  The thing is, (1. she is still popular and right on, and (2. I was not well enough emotionally, during parts of the nineties, when I carried her book, but could not absorb anything.  It was enough to cope with a divorce, losing my home, unsuccessfully trying to relocate to Boulder, Colorado, losing my father, a horrific boyfriend that I, thank Providence, got rid of, finally, taking care of my kids as best I could, and going to work every day, as well as getting my kids to school and going back to school at the end of the decade, myself, not to mention my turn of the millennium, relationship drama.
     So, I guess what I am saying is, as much as I love and respect Baba and His teachings, sometimes I wish His followers, (and I do not mean all of them) would be interested in more things, but I realize from being in Baba my whole life, that He wants complete focus, I suppose, and I have deviated in my own path, but I feel there are as many paths to God as there are people, and people focused solely on Meher Baba, as I used to be, are on a path, but no greater than mine, nor visa verse.  I know this sounds like judgment, but I do not mean it that way.  I just mean that there is so much out there.  It is a feast, a love feast, available to the taking.  If Meher Baba is who He says He is, then perhaps He is the culprit.  I do not know.  I only know that God is in our midst, no middle man or woman necessary, just God.  And, I think the expression, biblical though it may be, 'a jealous God,' is kind of weird, because 'I know people who have overcome jealousy,' like that comedian said, John Stewart, I think.  Lots of laughs.  I like to bring humor into it.  Namaste.  Shanti.

The Crescent Moon; a Poem

The moon, a white gold crescent of Mohammad, a light in the spring solstice sky,
Sufis, dervishes dancing in its light,
And Jesus walks on earth in the form of our brother,
And yet He suffers, harmed and crucified.

Ah, this golden light, this silver sliver, under which the soul cannot die,
Wine bringer, drunkard, dancing without sight,
We kill God, when we make ourselves, our sister suffer,
For she is Christ personified. 

                Leslie Walsh  March 14, 2013

Better Happy than Right; a Learning Experience, but Painful

     This past week, I royally screwed up as a human being, because 1) I was out of sorts emotionally and lost my way, 2) I wanted to be right, rather than happy, at the cost of people I love, and 3) I was in judgment and fear, rather than love and the Holy Spirit thought system.  This all got me into a huge mess.
     The culprits in my case, were anxiety, fear, being ego based, accepting the insanity of my own ego traps, rather than accepting others with love and a generous, kind spirit, free of resentment and most of all expectations.
     So, when I realized how much I had made a mess of things, and still I have to accept this now, because what is done is done, and blaming myself now, will not change anything, even though I know I had a full part in it, and was not mindful enough in my communication and interaction with people I care about, and I hope maybe they read this blog, but they might have other things to do. I realize it is not all about me.  That is where selfishness and self-centeredness comes in. 
     Even if anything I felt was true, it did not make it alright for me to not be mature and grounded about the situation.  I realize no one is perfect, but I think this is a good example of attacking my brother or sister, as the Course in Miracles talks about.  By doing this, I attack myself.  'In my defenselessness, my safety lies': A Course in Miracles.  
     Perhaps, I am crying for love, fear of abandonment and jealousy, as well as confusion, because I jumped to conclusions, which were defensive and judgmental, and wanted to be 'special' as the course also talks about.
     I hope the whole thing will be alright.  I guess it will have to be, and I hope no relationships are permanently damaged on any front.
     I still feel bad about all this, and I do not know how to correct it, except to do better next time, not make assumptions.  
     Anyway, happy solstice and happy spring.

Breathing; Letting Go; Getting Through to the Other Side of Darkness

     It has been a really difficult week for me, for various reasons.  I could not write.  It was enough to keep the house clean and neat.  I have just been out of sorts.
     The conflicts that are causing me suffering, I realize are illusion.  All that is is love, which is all that is real, but according to the I Ching, rather than A Course in Miracles, some of which, teach the same philosophies, darkness does come to rule at times, and at these times, retreat is the only salvation, in my own words.
     So, on to other things about letting go.  I guess I have this idea in my head, that no one loves me, and yes my family does, my mother does, my brother and sister, my older son, and I am sure my younger son too, but just cannot show it now.  
     I pursued yoga, meditation, became a Reiki Master, attended the Commission for the Blind, learned Braille, I write songs, sing and play guitar.  I keep a nice home, and manage okay.  I wonder why I judge myself so harshly.  I suppose I think that since I am legally blind, fifty-one years old, am single, and kind of a loner, that people feel like my life would be a nightmare, and that makes me feel even worse.  
     It is so hard to ask for help, to ask for a ride.  I really feel most comfortable asking my family, but a few close friends have helped, but I wish I could help others more.  I wish I did not need their help.  I wish I could go out at night on my own.  I wish I did not feel like I am in permanent 'lock down', with outdoor privileges, and nice conditions.
     When people who have everything to be grateful for, and I have gratitude too for many things, complain a lot, it is hard for me not to get annoyed.  I would trade places any day.  I would love to be able to drive a car, work outside the home, go from one person to another at parties and 'get togethers', without running into people, and having to wait for people to say hello to me, unless they are near, and I know who they are, because I do recognize people, and have enough vision to know what they look like, just that the RP prohibits me from moving freely in congested places, for fear of running into people and things.
     So, back to letting go, just breathing and being at peace.  It is not easy, not easy at all, sometimes.  I know everyone has their cross to bare, and life is no picnic for most of us 'bozos on the bus.'  Well, with that I will sign off.  I love you for reading my blog.  I really do.  Thank you, shanti and namaste.  Much love, me.

Step Ten; Continued to Take a Searching and Fearless Moral Inventory... and When We Were Wrong...

    I realize that some of my blogs sound as if I am looking at others, and judging their faults, but truthfully, I look at my own.  I know that I am a very flawed person.  I'm shy, but when I get drawn out of my shell, I can't shut up.  I'm a smart ass at times, flippant, hurt my friends sometimes, their feelings, lash out, etc..  So, I know that I have many character defects and shortcomings.
     I have done a fourth and fifth step, with a sponsor, in a twelve step program, also six and seven, as well as nine, making amends.  The thing is about step ten, we are always continuing to make mistakes and hurt people, if we are human, so one has to continue to take a searching and fearless moral inventory, and when we are wrong, promptly admit it.  It is hard sometimes, to admit being wrong, to be humble enough to say, "I'm sorry."  It is not easy to practice page eighty-six of the book, Alcoholics Anonymous, looking back over the day, and see where we were lacking in doing right, where we might have hurt someone, and then in the morning, pray for strength to do the right thing, the next right thing.
     I am no longer in a twelve step program, and truthfully, I did have a drinking problem, and then I was sober a long time, and then it got better, when I started drinking again.  So, it is a non issue, now.  I think I am a person, who goes through many phases, and never really stops evolving.
     Anyway, I just hate my own behavior at times.  I do not like it when I am selfish or jealous, angry or mean.  I do not like to be vindictive and unforgiving, wanting revenge, just kidding, lol.  
     I really just want to be humble, a good person, with a good attitude, do my best and hurt nobody.  That is what I want.
     I learned a lot in AA, I will say.  The thing is, when you leave, they don't really want you back, so it is almost impossible to be in the program, once you leave it.
     Still, as I said, I learned a lot, while there.  When I did my fourth step, searching and fearless moral inventory, from listing my resentments, cause and effect, and my own part, every single time, except in rare instances, it is selfishness, inconsideration, and self-seeking, almost every time, when it comes to step five, and you admit to yourself, God and another human being the nature of your own wrongs.
     So, if I ever hurt anyone, it really is not what I wanted to do, ever.  Namaste.

Character Assassination

     Have you ever had your character assassinated by someone, who did not even know you, someone who barely spoke two words to you, or vise verse, and you certainly never did anything to them?  Well, I have, and strangely enough it has not necessarily been women, well sometimes women, but men as well, men I do not even know, have never dated, have never even had a complete conversation with, have never been alone with, and yet they talk shit about me.  What is that? What is that about?  I did not reject these men.  I did not know them.  I did not insult them, or anyone in their life.  People can just be mean.
     In twelve step programs, because of the steps, they always talk about resentment, resentment, resentment.  Okay, so I have a resentment, but so would anyone, and I know that if I truly practice A Course in Miracles, which I have studied for years and understand well, I would say the workbook lesson mantra, In my defenselessness, my safety lies, which means that I do not need to defend myself to anyone, nor should I.  I could also say, God, help me see this differently, a Course in Miracles prayer.  Why should I let someone else's crap bother me?  They are crying for love.  That is what ACIM would say, anyway, and it is their problem.  Am I taking the karma back by griping, maybe not as much as they are taking with their attacks?  Why does someone who does not know me, hate me?  What are they getting from assassinating my character?  Why do they feel this need?  What do I have to do with them?  What am I taking away from them, or how am I threatening them, by just being alive?
    I welcome comments, and I know what might be said: pay no attention, etc., but it is easier said than done.  I would advise someone to ignore this, and that is what I do, but as much as you need a thick skin, it does not feel good to be put down, back bitten, lied about, frowned upon, judged, etc., and not even know why.  Sometimes it is jealousy, and I have had that, but in this situation jealousy makes no sense.  I have had married men, who I do not even know, spread lies about me.  And, for the record, I am not faking being legally blind.  That is virtually impossible.  Today I went to Dilruba, and was overwhelmed, my tunnel vision was awful, because of the lighting, I ran into someone on my right, should have been using my cane, and hurt my ribs. I really do not care what nasty things anyone thinks or says about me, because they are stupid, ignorant and lame.  I realize it is not very ACIM for me to say that, but that is how I feel.  Try a day walking around, looking through my eyes.  I manage well, because I have a 150 IQ in spacial relations from dealing with having one eye I can see out of, my entire life, and have no idea what two eyes is like, and now have lost much vision in my good eye, so try walking around with my eyes, if you dare to doubt me.  And besides, how would I be a client of the S.C. Commission for the Blind?  Why did they give me canes, pay for three pairs of UV protection sunglasses, send me to learn Braille and mobility, buy me eye glasses, and give me tons of kitchen and home supplies, a talking watch, etc., and how do I have talking books for the blind, from the state library, which you can only have any of, through your eye records and a case manager from the Commission for the Blind?  Why do they take me to the low vision clinic in Florence?  Why can I not see an inch in front of me in the dark?  Why does light hurt my eyes?  Why have I had cataracts since my early forties, which the doctor said were inoperable? Why have I had glasses since I was five?  Why can't my glasses correct my vision?  Why can't I wear contacts anymore? It just goes on and on.