The essence of what I am about to say is that riches and fortune are not what matter. Yes, I know this is not an original thought and perhaps even overstated, and there are always more ways of looking at the same thing.
My kids grew up with me mostly in a very how shall I say, modest home in a modest neighborhood. We only went hungry once, when our food stamps were stolen years ago. It was not too bad. We just had to live on Halloween candy for a few days. I say this with a smile, because it is sad but funny looking back.
All the while their dad and his new family were living like kings and queens with SUV's in a really fancy house on a lake in the country side. Oh yes, he sent child support and all. He is not a bad guy, although my son Ted once said, "I
helped my father build three houses and I don't have a house." Still the kids were more at home with me. This is kind of touching. The truth is kids do not care about all the money in the world or big fancy houses. They need food, shelter, love, fun, education, hobbies, etc..
I do not regret anything, at least I do not think so. Hardship builds character and makes you stronger. It makes you understand hunger when you have gone hungry. It makes you understand homelessness, even if you have been homeless only briefly. I have known for years what it is like not to have transportation and so have my children.
It is doable. It is hard and frustrating and makes you have to be inventive in ideas.
When I was at the Commission for the Blind, we had a little support group on Tuesday nights after supper. The lack of transportation was brought up frequently. Many of these people live in more rural areas than I do in my state, and some have zero vision, none at all.
When I took mobility, using a cane for the visually impaired to cross busy intersections, etc., Clint, my instructor asked me if I understood blocks, city blocks. I was surprised. I thought everyone knew, but some people have been on farms and rural areas their whole lives.
When you think you have it bad, someone always has it worse. I could tell you the saddest stories about people I met at the commission and how they became blind, but there would be no point in talking about it. My point is that there is no need for me and most of us to feel self pity. I do not think my kids felt self pity, but I think it was a little hard for them when their dad had more kids.
Although, my mom had two girls when she married my dad, and my brother and I were the new kids, but we were all closer in age. We were all under ten years of age when I was born. My brother and I are only two years apart.
I have one brother and two half sisters. I am closest to my brother. I like my oldest sister, but I am estranged from the other one for reasons I cannot understand except that we are not close, which I accept and have less resentment about now as years have gone by. It matters less and less.
Back to why money does not matter in the big picture. I really do not know. I think in part kids sometimes are just closer to one parent and they want to be where their friends are. Friendships, especially in the teen years and in early childhood as I remember my own, are incredibly important to kids. Where there friends are they want to be, even if that be in the 'hood'. Seriously, this is true.
I grew up isolated from kids except for school and the bus, but I did have one close girlfriend that I played with. We are still friends. She is a lawyer now. I would have loved to grow up around a lot of kids.
If I could have made things better for the kids, I really would have. There just was no way to, but that was alright I suppose. The past does not matter according to Eckhart Tolle and other philosophers of new age thought. The future does not matter, but we still need to plan for it in my view, but I am an organized type person. I like to have my ducks in a row as many of us do.
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