When Daniel went to the apartment in Durham, New Hampshire, with his friend Chris, carrying their instruments, the other band members, who lived in the downstairs apartment of the two story duplex, were entertaining. Three young women in their late teens to early twenty's, sat on the floor, Indian style, Ali and Todd occupying the only furniture, a futon and hammock chair. There were also bar stools in the adjacent kitchen. The bedrooms were off to the sides, of which there were three. Daniel was well aware that he would be crashing on the futon, if not the floor. He had his sleeping bag and backpack in the car still.
He immediately, specifically noticed one of the girls, with dark hair and eyes, the one on the right, the petite one with shoulder length dark hair, dark eyes, and a
beautiful, heart shaped face. Her hands were animated, he noticed. She had a beer in one hand. She seemed to be positively beaming. His eyes became, briefly fixed on her.
When Ali began introductions, Daniel realized, to his embarrassment, that he had been rudely staring, but her bowed lips stayed in an upward curl, neither mocking nor smirking. He nodded to them all, though deafened by his preoccupation with the one with the bowed lips and dark eyes. His eyesight was poor in the dim lighting, but he still saw her eyes as being green to him, dark green, like the color of forests, the tops of trees on a New England mountain top in springtime. They could have been gray or brown, but to his eyes, they seemed green now, as if magical somehow. Perhaps his eyes were playing tricks on him, the way they sometimes did, it seemed. His night blindness was only a part of the problem. A large part of it was tunnel vision, and it seemed like Bethany was the focus in his central vision. He supposed, in good humor, that her beauty was selective seeing, but being young he still had quite a bit of good central vision, relatively speaking. The way one sees, in one's lifetime, is the only way in which one knows seeing to be. How can one know what one never sees, and yet somehow it becomes somewhat disabling? It was a strange phenomenon, he thought, something of which, no one but himself, alone, could relate to. He did not know anyone else, who had a visual impairment. Retinitis pigmentosa had been inherited by him, seemingly from a gene, that no one in his family knew of, which set him apart, and yet he accepted it, and felt grateful for all he did have. It never bothered him, except the not driving part was a bummer, and he wished he could see in the dark better, so that he would feel less awkward at times, when he needed some help, but his friends were aware, and so were his family, his mother mainly, because Nicolas always seemed in a world of his own, although he adored Daniel. That was evident.
"Hey you guys," Ali said to Chris and Daniel, "this is Brittany, Jessica and Bethany."
Daniel smiled, and nodded to all three young women, "What's up?" he asked casually, although more a greeting than a question, of course. "Are you all students at N.H.U.?"
"We're just visiting from Keene. We go to Keene State," piped up Bethany. She spoke with her eyes and body, subtle movements all at once. "We met Ali and Todd at the Newport Folk Festival, last year. We are going back tonight. We just dropped by." She took a long drag on what was left of her cigarette and put it out in the ashtray next to her. She wore faded jeans and a thin black sweater, with a long, frayed, Mexican, hand made, woven purse, and brown, swede moccasin boots, which her pants were tucked into.
Daniel did not notice the other two girls much, except that they, as well, had a sort of hippie nouveau motif, modern day hippies into peace, love, new age ideology. His mother, although forty-five years old, was similar, but she was a bit unusual, well not totally, because she had friends like herself.
"Chris said you guys would not mind if I crash here til I can get it together to get a place," Daniel appealed to Ali, and looked at Todd as well.
"Sure, Man," Ali agreed.
Todd nodded, getting up to embrace Daniel. "Yeah, no problem, Man. Glad you're here. We been needing you in the band, Man."
Daniel felt relieved now, knowing he was not going to be out on the street, with no money, and no where to stay, not even enough money for bus fair, not wanting to bother his mother right now, trying to be a man, trying to be independent, work, and get on his feet. He wanted to play music, but was very willing to do other menial work, as well, but he could not seem to find a job, back home in Vermont, so he thought he would try his luck in New Hampshire, get in a band with his old running mates.
"Thanks, Bro", Daniel responded.
"Hey, have a beer, you two, and come get to know everyone," Ali said to Daniel and Chris.
Daniel sat down next to Bethany. Todd was handing him a beer, but it was a bit dark in the room, except for soft lighting and candles, so he did not see it at first, because of his eye condition, until Todd actually touched it to the back of his hand. He felt its coldness touch his skin, like a slight shock to his senses. "Thanks," Daniel said, taking the beer that Todd offered.
"It's nice to meet you." He looked at Bethany, nodding to Jessica and Brittany as well. Something about her fascinated his eyes like glue. You are a magnet and I am steel were the song lyrics that came to his mind, at that moment.
Her eyes were dark and endless, and yet seemingly green. Her voice was childlike, and almost angelic sounding. Her hands, when she spoke, moved like flowers' leaves, gently swaying. Prana, or energy, seemed to flow through her every word, like a wave. Every aspect of her spelled gentleness and vulnerability, being breakable. And, yet she was not. She was strong enough to hold her own in this world, and he could sense that.
He could tell that she was intelligent and cultured, perhaps more so than he was, and ever so often she asked him what he thought of the war, politics, the economy, racism, gay rights, quantum physics, music, his own forte, what was going on in Europe, in terms of trends in music and pop culture, such as house music played in clubs there, philosophy, and art. He answered intelligently and freely, but he was intrigued by her
ability to articulate, her eloquence.
"I don't care for the alternative rock of these days, as much as some of the older stuff, like Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, and The Who," he said brightly. "I mean, I like some of REM and stuff, but frankly I am not so into James Blunt. He's good, I guess." He did not want to sound like a snob in case she liked James Blunt. You're beautiful, another song lyric came to mind.
"Beth," Ali piped up, "you got to hear this guy play. Get out your guitar, Curt Cobain."
Before he could protest, Chris had brought out Daniel's acoustic guitar. He began playing an original song, which he had written three years ago, called Don't Look Back, which he had written for his mom, when things had been really rough, years ago, but he did not admit that now. It just did not seem cool, in light of things.
Bethany remained in semi lotus position, with the most natural of expressions, no pretense, just innocent appreciation. He felt like he had never seen, known or met anyone, quite like her. She seemed so unique, and yet familiar too. Brittany and Jessica were attentive, as well, and everyone in the room, listened as he played.
He sang and played the feeling filled, skillfully written song, with much feeling and completely zen-like concentration.
"You wrote that?," Brittany asked rhetorically, yet complimenting, and enthusiastically.
Brittany was dressed similarly to Bethany, only she was wearing a long skirt with an Indian print, instead of jeans, and had very long hair. Daniel sort of noticed that Chris seemed to have been talking to Brittany, quite a bit, that evening. He thought, perhaps he should make sure neither Ali, nor Todd were interested in Bethany. He had not even thought of the possibility that she might be involved with either of them. He just had not gotten that impression, but he realized he should, at least out of good manners to the guys that were putting him up, and her as well, find out what the situation was.
Bethany was smiling, "it was beautiful. I like the words. I really like the chords too. You are an amazing singer and guitarist."
"Yeah, you're really good." Jessica was lighting another cigarette, her blond bangs sweeping across her oval face.
"Play more," requested Bethany. "Play Stairway to Heaven. Oh, just play whatever you want to."
He played the song she requested from beginning to end. When he finished the song, he put the guitar down. He wanted to talk more with Bethany.
"We really have to get back", Jessica announced looking at her cell phone for the time. It's 2:00 in the morning."
"It's the weekend. You girls can stay if you want. We have blankets and stuff, pillows, whatever you need," Todd suggested.
Ali and Chris agreed. Daniel agreed, but did not want to overstep boundaries, it not being his apartment, nor wanting to sound too eager.
All three girls agreed that staying over would be cool.
He talked more with Bethany, and he asked, "so are you dating Todd or Ali? I mean - "
"No, no, we're all just friends. I'm not dating anybody. Do I act like I am?"
"No, of course not, I just didn't want to be presumptuous."
"You mean you didn't want to get thrown out on your ass?," Todd retorted, hearing their conversation.
"Yeah, Daniel?," Ali bantered on, "ya think I'd be sittin' here all night, watchin' you gawkin' and talkin' with my girl all night, Man? I'd kick your ass, Man."
He came over and play punched Daniel, and they play wrestled. "Now, Chris," Ali went on, "you know he's got a thing for Brittany, even though he don't know her like me and Todd do. She is trouble with a capital T," he bantered.
"What?," Brittany said, in a high pitched voice. "You!"
Jessica and Bethany were laughing heartily, at that. "Yeah, you're trouble, Brittany," Jessica teased. "I'm just messin' with you. You know I love you."
"Yeah, Brittany," continued Ali, "you know we all love you. We're just messin' with ya."
Chris was not saying anything. He tended to be the shy one, but he had a devilish cuteness, or impishness, and an innocence, at once. He was obviously interested in Brittany, for sure, but not in pursuit of anyone right then. He was the type, that you could never read, never really know what he was thinking, mysterious, aloof.
Eventually, the three guys, who lived there, retired to their rooms. Jessica and Brittany fell asleep on the futon, so Daniel got Chris's car keys, went and got his backpack and sleeping bag. He brought them up, unzipped his sleeping bag, all the way, and spread it out on the floor, so that he and Bethany would have a place to crash, besides blankets and pillows.
They just lay there in their clothes, talking in a quiet whisper, until they fell asleep.
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