The last few weeks had been a blur to
Lizzy. Jim had given her some time off from the 'Water Hole'. She was deeply depressed, and drinking a lot, or at least the waking hours she could remember.
Mostly, they ordered out for pizza. Charlie, who also worked in the food and beverage industry, Senior Frog's in Burlington, had even come by with some food from work, fries, chicken wings, spare ribs and deserts, as well.
Daniel had gone back to Berkeley School of Music in Boston. It was just herself and Nicolas. Nicolas had one friend from school now, who was a bit like him, and who had a lot in common with him. His name was Sky. His parents were hippies, and lived up out in the boonies. Sky was quiet like Nick, and he
was very intelligent and did well in school, as well. They would come home on the bus together, and his mother or father would pick him up in the evening, and sometimes Nick would go to their house in the country, and they would bring him home. Lizzy was in rough shape, and not driving anywhere. She wanted to pull herself together and get a grip, just did not know how.
Finally, a week before Thanksgiving, she decided to go to an AA meeting in Vershire
Center. She was not really a true alcoholic, but she had needed some alcohol support in the past, nonetheless, because it was helpful in times of stress, when she felt she could not afford a therapist, and drank a bit too much, although she was uncomfortable calling herself an alcoholic, since usually drinking was not a problem. She had been there in the past, but it had been a long time. She knew some of the people, but had been out of touch.
As she slowly and carefully drove to Vershire Center, she was glad to have fairly new snow tires, thanks to Jim, as it had snowed recently, now that it was November, and there was a stinging chill in the air, and there had been a few light snow flurries, including tonight, but subtle.
Taking off her warm winter, corduroy, fur lined serpa jacket, she slunk into the meeting late. She had had a few drinks that day, but not too much to impair her driving at all, and it had been hours earlier. Throwing off her jacket, and hanging it on the back of a chair, she sat in the back, in her worn out jeans and gray work shirt, winter work boots, hair back in a low pony tail with its usual stray strands, hoping not to be noticed or to have to say hello. When the introductions came, she barely, audibly uttered her name and title, "I'm Lizzy, alcoholic."
Everything said, was unidentifiable, but also familiar. After the meeting, a young woman in her thirties, with wild dark hair, came up to her. "I'm Norine", she held out her hand to Lizzy. "Are you a new comer?
You didn't say anything. Do you want my number?"
"I know the protocol," said Lizzy. "I am not new." Her voice was bristly and unfriendly, and she felt somewhat guilty for that, but she partly did not care. This girl was annoying anyway.
"I have six months," Norine beamed showing her yellow chip. "I have never been happier."
'Yeah good for you. I'm sure your son's best friend didn't just die in the war either,' she thought bitterly, hating the positive attitude of this young woman, but feeling guilty for feeling this way, so bitter.
"I hope you don't mind, but there's no other women here tonight. I'm supposed to stick with the women. Actually, there's almost never any women here. Not at this group, maybe in Burlington. Do you think you could take me home? I hate asking, but I'm legally blind. My boyfriend dropped me off."
Suddenly Lizzy was out of her self-pity and seeing Norine for the first time. "What's wrong with your eyes?," she asked bluntly.
"I have this thing called R.O.P. from being a premature birth. It's hard to explain."
"No need," said Lizzy. "My older son has RP, retinitis pigmentosa."
"Oh yeah, I know what that is," Norine nodded seriously.
"Yes, I'm sorry. I can drive you. Where do you live, Norine?" She wondered if Norine smelled alcohol, faintly on her, although she had sobered up hours ago.
"6800 Vershire Rd.," Norine said, "it is for
sale, but my kids and I are living there, with my sister and her kids."
"You have kids?," Lizzy asked rhetorically, but suddenly interested, and wanting to show that, sincerely.
Some of the men stopped and said hello to Lizzy. "Keep comin' back," old timer John said.
She gave him a little hug. "Sure." Suddenly Lizzy was smiling, but not knowing why. Maybe she just needed to do service, and get out of self, as they say. Her heart had been so closed, and cold, and empty, as of late.
Norine talked endlessly, and cheerfully, in the Chevy truck. She also smoked out the window, which Lizzy did not object to.
Norine was thirty-five, ten years younger than Lizzy, and from Lizzy's estimation, a million times more beautiful, but it sounded like Norine and her twin sister, also blind, or legally blind, did not have it so easy. Each of them had three children. They were living in a big house that was for sale, which would put them on the street eventually, or they could go back to living with an abusive, alcoholic father. Norine's husband was an abusive alcoholic from South Carolina, which was why Lizzy had detected the southern accent, and he could actually come and kill her, if he knew where she was. She lived in fear. Her sister's husband was in prison at least, also abusive and incorrigible, but at least Norine's sister's husband was locked up, and therefore less a threat. This all sounded like drama to the average person, but Lizzy had been around enough to know how common these things were, even though to someone outside their world, it sounded like the Jerry Springer Show. For a lot of working class America, life was the Jerry Springer Show. Perhaps, it was the times, addiction, single parenthood, poverty, war, hunger, and who knows?
Norine asked if Lizzy wanted to come in, when they got to the big farmhouse. For some reason, Lizzy agreed to come inside. She noticed, from being Daniel's mother, Norine's visual impairment, especially in the dark, and so she took her arm tentatively, not sure if Norine wanted help. Norine welcomed Lizzy's assistance. Norine's twin sister, Becky, was sitting on the front step, playing with a puppy, with her youngest boy, just a toddler, who was clad in a fuzzy wool sweater, sweat pants, and fuzzy slippers. There was a light snow on the ground.
"This is Becky, my sister, and her boy, Christopher. Becky, this is Lizzy."
"Hey", drawled Becky, drawing a toke on her cigarette, lazily. "It's cold out here." She then rubbed her thinly jacketed shoulders, once her cigarette burned in an ashtray.
Just then two little girls came out, barefoot and straggly. "These are my youngest two, Ally and Jamie," Norine said to Lizzy. The girls were dressed in thrift shop attire, warm sweaters and jeans, but their little feet were bare, from being in the house. The girls greeted Lizzy, and she said hello to them, but the girls were too excited about the puppy, to notice much more.
"I see you got a puppy," remarked Lizzy.
"Yeah, I promised the kids one, with all they been through and all, ya know?," answered Norine.
Lizzy nodded, with a smile.
They went inside. The house was messy but not dirty, and three more school age children were watching TV. There was a wood stove burning, to keep the place warm.
"This is my son, John, the oldest, and the two other boys are Becky's, Ricky and Randy. They are twins,
too. It runs in the family.
The boys were dressed in thrift shop attire, as well, although warmly, in sweatshirts and jeans. They mumbled, "hey," and went back to their television show, without getting up.
Norine was slipping out of her snow boots as they entered, and several jackets and pairs of boots hung, or lay in the corner, as they entered.
"Do you want me to take my boots off?," Lizzy asked, politely.
"No, that's okay. You can leave 'em on. We just automatically take them off."
"Yeah, we do pretty much the same," Lizzy responded. She decided to keep them on.
Norine insisted on making coffee, as she and Lizzy took their jackets off. Lizzy hung hers on the back of a kitchen chair. Norine was so friendly, she thought. "Don't you guys find it hard living out here with no transportation?," asked Lizzy.
"No, my boyfriend, Davis, helps out. Remember, he dropped me off. He works nights. He stays here too. He's a big help."
"You seem sad," Norine said, pouring the coffee. The kids were in and out of the kitchen, looking for snacks. "Go in the living room. I'll bring y'all something in a minute," she said, with a drawl.
"Oh it's just - just something - ," Lizzy trailed off, not really wanting to talk about Adrien's death, at least not to someone she just met. Norine did not pry.
Lizzy left her phone number, just in case Norine wanted a ride, but she made it clear that she was not baby-sitting, just for the record, because she was through with small kids, and Norine seemed totally understanding of that. It was Becky, who seemed a little odd, not that friendly, aloof, but it was no big thing.
Lizzy thought about Norine and her hardships, as she drove the next seven miles, to her own house, where Nicolas and Sky would be playing video games upstairs, or playing a board game, or playing with Rusty, perhaps. She looked forward to going home,
with a refreshing relief, a haven, going home.
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