Friendship

     Friendship is  something I think everyone needs, although I have known a few who do not want friends or believe in friends. I thought this was a jaded point of view, but in truth very few friends will be tried and true.
   I do not know the exact criteria for friendship, but it is something that cannot be measured.  Like romantic relationships, though very different, friendships will prove themselves by their endurance.  Your heart knows who cares and who does not, who loves you and who does not.
     People have many agendas, even me sometimes, but that is not right.  Sometimes what you may think of as a friendship may just be a project to another, especially if you have a disability.  I have a disability, my eyesight and I appreciate help.  Sometimes I think that I perceive some friendships as deeper and more fast than they are, but that is my bad.  
     I am not saying I do not have steadfast friends.  I am just saying it is a rare thing and you are lucky if you have two or three really close friends, who will never turn their back on you, and who will always forgive you, especially if you apologize sincerely.  Sometimes cleaning up your own side of the street is all you can do.  Once you have made amends, it is out of your hands.
     Sometimes when people show that they have a double standard in how they treat you as opposed to other friends, you can see their lack of affection.  I mean a friend of mine got furious when I was at the Commission for the Blind, because she said I said something that hurt her friend's feelings, and I did not know what she meant or even remember it, but apparently it was supposed to be a secret, but
I did not know that, thinking it was not that bad.  This same person told me something really nasty two times that this other friend said to her about me.  It was then I realized that she had a double standard where I was concerned, and I realized that neither of them were my friends.
     It was a hurtful thing, and it took a while for it to really sink in, but I am over it.  I bless them both on their journey and wish them health, wealth and happiness as I go my own way.
     A friend, the one who I thought jaded, told me this about people a long time ago, and I did not believe him and considered him bitter and cold, but ultimately he was basically right in a way, not totally, because there are some true friends.  It is just that sometimes one can be fooled.