Chapter 9

      Lizzy felt like every dream was being answered.  Jim and the bar had been exactly what she wanted and Charlie and his antics were exactly why they were not together.  He was way too volatile, and Jim was calm and collected, in a sense.  
     Lizzy drove up in her old Chevrolet truck and walked to the lit up house, carrying groceries from the A&P.  
    The house was warm from the fireplace and wood stove as well. Daniel had come home with the whole crew, Chris and Robert only at this point.  She had not expected Daniel to be home.  He had been away at Berkeley School of Music, in Boston.  
     When she came in, everyone said "hi", but something was wrong.  Daniel was crying and so were Robert and Chris.  Beer bottles and cigarette buts were everywhere.  Nicolas was the only one sober and not smoking.  She wondered where the kids got the alcohol.  Somehow though, she knew there was something wrong.
     "Hey", she said to all of them, looking into the guest room, where they were all gathered.  Nicolas, who had a hard time with emotion due to autism, was still playing the XBOX game, World Warrior.  They also had the play station out and Castlevania had been recently played.   
    "What is wrong?, she asked the boys.  "Is everything alright?  You all look upset.  Why are you home from school, Daniel?  Is something going on?  Where did this beer come from?"  She also spotted a liter of whiskey.  She thought maybe Charlie, with his anger at her for being with Jim, had helped them out, but somehow that was not the issue right now.
     "Mom", Daniel looked up into his mother's green hazel eyes with his that were so blue, "Mom."  He began to cry.  
    She went to him and held him. He was crying hard.  Robert and Chris were crying too.  Nick just kept playing, but suddenly he stopped, knowing it just was not appropriate right now.
     "What Daniel?  What happened?  Is it you and Bethany?  Is Dana alright?"
     Suddenly she just knew.  "It's Adrien isn't it?  What happened?"
     Daniel sobbed in his mother's arms, and then pulled back very stoically.  "Mom, Adrien is dead.  He was killed in action.  In Iraq."
     Lizzy was stunned, shocked. "What?  No, no, that can't be," she said, denying it in her mind, some misunderstanding, no, not with the tears.  She could see it in the boys' faces, even Nick's.  She could see it in their eyes.  She felt like she was going to pass out, too shocked to cry.  But, then like the blood that comes, delayed sometimes, when one cuts oneself, and the flesh is in shock, the delayed tears came. "Oh no, oh no, it can't be.  Oh my God, oh my God."  She just kept shaking her head, and she had slid to the floor, and sat leaning against the bed, on the floor, her head on Daniel's shoulder.  "Oh God, no.  What do we do?"  She felt so not grounded, so confused, so unprepared for all this that came so suddenly.  
     He had come back, after nine months in Iraq, and then last May, he had gone back for a second tour.  It had been six months, and his parents were thinking he would, most likely, be home by Christmas.  It was November now.  He had only a month, before they had been hoping, that he could come home.  It just did not seem fair, so wrong somehow.  Why?  Why did this happen this way?  War was always the chance of death, of course, but they had not been prepared for this at all.  They had been looking forward to Christmas, and his return.
     Tomorrow, she would deal with the adults, calling poor Jill. What would she say?  How could she help?  Why was this happening?  Finding out who brought the beer and whiskey, just no longer mattered.  She slowly picked herself up off the floor, taking the two grocery bags with her, to the kitchen.  
     She put the groceries away, and then she made some chamomile tea.  
     "Have you boys eaten anything?," she asked, holding her steaming cup, standing in the doorway to the downstairs guestroom, which was where the boys hung out, most of the time, ever since Nicolas had gotten sick, with the pseudo seizures, and they had moved the video games down there. 
     "No, Mom, I'm not hungry," Daniel answered.
     "I am," Nick answered, and he went with her into the kitchen, where she made him a ham and cheese sandwich, which she grilled on a frying pan, and served him, with a glass of milk.
     Robert and Chris came out.  "We're heading out.  Bye Lizzy, bye Nick," they waved.
     "Are you guys okay to drive?," she asked them.  "You can stay over.  I'd rather you be safe."
     Robert said, "No, we really need to get back.  We didn't drink much, really."
     "Okay, if you're sure," she said in a resigned tone.  
     Lizzy, Daniel and Nicolas sat up for hours, in the living room, feeding the fireplace with kindling wood, and talking.  Nick fell asleep on the sofa, and finally Daniel went up to his room.       
     Letting Nick sleep on the couch, rather than waking him, Lizzy covered him with an afghan, and then went in the kitchen, wiped things down a bit, and went up to bed.  
     She took a sleeping pill, that she had for emergencies, from a bedside drawer.  Still, she lay awake, looking at the stars outside her window, until sleep finally came.  And, in the morning, only for a moment did she feel okay, before she remembered that something was terribly wrong.  "Adrien was dead."
     Daniel woke with the same sensation.  Lizzy offered Nicolas a reprieve from school, but he said he would go anyway, so she sent him on the school bus.       
    Daniel was home from Berkeley School of Music.  When he heard about Adrien, he had immediately taken a greyhound bus home.  Chris and Robert had come home from Durham, for the same reason.  Adrien had been their friend too, but Daniel had been the closest to him of the three.  Lizzy knew this would be really hard on him.  It was hard on everyone.
     After having her morning coffee, she called a florist to have flowers delivered.  She also picked up the phone, hesitated, then called Jill.  She got her voice mail, and she left a brief message, saying she would call again, and how very sorry she was.
     Lizzy and Daniel ate breakfast in silence.  Neither of them, were very hungry, at all.  She was planning to call Jim, as soon as she finished the breakfast dishes.  She would not be going to work today.
     "Should I come over?," he asked, when she did call.
     "No, but maybe if you could come over tonight?," she asked him.  
     "Of course.  Sure," he answered.  "I'll get out of here a little early, around nine okay?"
     "Yes, that would be wonderful.  Thank you."
     "I'm sorry.  I'm sure Daniel is really broken up.  Is he okay?"
     "As well as to be expected.  I'm concerned about Adrien's family mostly," she said.
     "I'll be over tonight.  Hang in there.  I love you."
     "I love you too," she said, and they said their goodbyes, temporarily.