suit, with a girlfriend. I guess I was not looking too
bad that day, but that is not the point. I just happen to
remember that it was blue and purple with those boy
shorts, a halter top and blue cotton hat.
An old friend named Demian came up to me with a
guy I did not recognize behind his long hair and beard.
Demian reintroduced me, (I knew them both from my
childhood since I am from this town.)
The guy with the long hair turned out to be a guy named David, same name as my younger son but of
course David is a popular name, meaning 'Beloved' and
of course the King David of Psalms. David C., I will
call him bullied me on the school bus back and forth as
long as I can remember, which would be first grade, because I went to private Christian kindergarten. Being pretty outspoken I said, "oh you are the guy who
picked on me all those years". This is relevant to the Course in Miracles because today's lesson is not being a
victim, and there is nothing to forgive because "nothing
really occurred." Only, these principles are very existential and in some ways not pertinent in this case.
He said "I am really sorry. I was an abused child. My Dad beat me every day, and I took it out on anyone different."
Oh, OK, and I suppose I am different because I have brown wavy hair and brown eyes, or perhaps I am
part Jewish, or my family followed an unusual religion.
Sure I can accept all that, and not to mention that we lived up north until I was four.
I said "I forgive you", because I appreciated what he said. Still when a bully bullies someone and later uses
something like that as an excuse, it is not justified, because how does he know the person he is bullying is
not being abused as well, not that I was. I am just saying you do not know what is going on in someone else's life or home life, and bullying is never justified, no matter what lame excuse they may have.
Another factor is that an amends with a "but" clause, is not a true amends. ex: My x-husband actually did make an amends to me for his behavior in our marriage, but if he had said to me, "Leslie, I am
sorry for this, this and this, but you are such a horrid
person and I was having a lot of stress at work..."
I think my point is made. This would not be an amends.
Another thing is, even though the Course in Miracles says, there is not reason to forgive, because
nothing occurred, it would be condescending and
inappropriate to say to someone who apologizes,
"man, nothing ever happened, no need to forgive."
The person would be left confused and bewildered, and
we have actually discussed this at the Course. 'Outspoken again me' brought it up of course.
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