Staying Sane No Matter What

     Not long ago, my younger son brought up a shortcoming of mine as a parent during his childhood, not long ago, because he is only twenty-two years old, and I have owned up to my failing.  I do not feel good about having been a troubled mother, but I know that I was not unique in that way.  Many young single mothers have a lot of personal problems while bringing up kids on their own.  Sometimes it can be very difficult for children to grow up in the care of someone battling with depression.  I know I could have been worse, which does not make it good, but I have made amends, at least tried to, as well as trying to improve and work on myself now, which is all I or anyone has.
     I have a difficult relationship with my own mother.  It is too complicated to even explain, and truthfully she is so different from myself, that I do not understand her.  I do not want to go into it, because some people who read my blog know her, and I do not like to give too much personal information in my blog and at the same time be honest, which is hard.  I realize also that many people in the "Baba world" look up to my mother, and that is wonderful.  I am glad for her, and I do not need spiritual recognition.  I am not in competition with anyone, nor do I wish to be special or a 'spiritual or intellectual giant', lol.  I am just another 'Bozo on the bus'.
     However, I would like to talk about boundaries.  We all need them to stay sane, solid boundaries.  Any psychotherapist would say that these days.  People play games, mess with your head, feel better about themselves if you seem sick.  Yes, this is very toxic stuff, but it happens to be true.  The only way is to not go swimming in the muck of it.  If someone tempts us off balance, it is best to say a mantra, like, God is the light in which I see, Course in Miracles, or I am the light of the world or love holds no grievances, which is from last week's Course in Miracles workbook lesson.  I believe my friend Kathy posted that recently on her fb page.
     Letting oneself hurt is useless. Victory is rising above all the insanity on earth and all the hurt that hurting people put or try to put on us.  We are all the same.  Some people are just a little easier to understand and less complicated.  I do not want to be complicated, just honest, kind, humble and non-pretentious as well as just a really good person.  I am not saying I am, but I do want to be.  I do not want to get angry or strike out or hurt anyone.  Meher Baba said, "never harm any living thing."  This includes animals, which is why I take care of them and love them. Like children, they are innocent, and inside everyone, even adults, there is an innocent hurt child who has to heal.  Namaste.