Character Assassination

     Have you ever had your character assassinated by someone, who did not even know you, someone who barely spoke two words to you, or vise verse, and you certainly never did anything to them?  Well, I have, and strangely enough it has not necessarily been women, well sometimes women, but men as well, men I do not even know, have never dated, have never even had a complete conversation with, have never been alone with, and yet they talk shit about me.  What is that? What is that about?  I did not reject these men.  I did not know them.  I did not insult them, or anyone in their life.  People can just be mean.
     In twelve step programs, because of the steps, they always talk about resentment, resentment, resentment.  Okay, so I have a resentment, but so would anyone, and I know that if I truly practice A Course in Miracles, which I have studied for years and understand well, I would say the workbook lesson mantra, In my defenselessness, my safety lies, which means that I do not need to defend myself to anyone, nor should I.  I could also say, God, help me see this differently, a Course in Miracles prayer.  Why should I let someone else's crap bother me?  They are crying for love.  That is what ACIM would say, anyway, and it is their problem.  Am I taking the karma back by griping, maybe not as much as they are taking with their attacks?  Why does someone who does not know me, hate me?  What are they getting from assassinating my character?  Why do they feel this need?  What do I have to do with them?  What am I taking away from them, or how am I threatening them, by just being alive?
    I welcome comments, and I know what might be said: pay no attention, etc., but it is easier said than done.  I would advise someone to ignore this, and that is what I do, but as much as you need a thick skin, it does not feel good to be put down, back bitten, lied about, frowned upon, judged, etc., and not even know why.  Sometimes it is jealousy, and I have had that, but in this situation jealousy makes no sense.  I have had married men, who I do not even know, spread lies about me.  And, for the record, I am not faking being legally blind.  That is virtually impossible.  Today I went to Dilruba, and was overwhelmed, my tunnel vision was awful, because of the lighting, I ran into someone on my right, should have been using my cane, and hurt my ribs. I really do not care what nasty things anyone thinks or says about me, because they are stupid, ignorant and lame.  I realize it is not very ACIM for me to say that, but that is how I feel.  Try a day walking around, looking through my eyes.  I manage well, because I have a 150 IQ in spacial relations from dealing with having one eye I can see out of, my entire life, and have no idea what two eyes is like, and now have lost much vision in my good eye, so try walking around with my eyes, if you dare to doubt me.  And besides, how would I be a client of the S.C. Commission for the Blind?  Why did they give me canes, pay for three pairs of UV protection sunglasses, send me to learn Braille and mobility, buy me eye glasses, and give me tons of kitchen and home supplies, a talking watch, etc., and how do I have talking books for the blind, from the state library, which you can only have any of, through your eye records and a case manager from the Commission for the Blind?  Why do they take me to the low vision clinic in Florence?  Why can I not see an inch in front of me in the dark?  Why does light hurt my eyes?  Why have I had cataracts since my early forties, which the doctor said were inoperable? Why have I had glasses since I was five?  Why can't my glasses correct my vision?  Why can't I wear contacts anymore? It just goes on and on.