Some people have taken the phrase 'cruel to be kind' out of context in order to more comfortably justify the annihilation of the poor weak or disabled. They have even tried throwing Meher Baba quotes at me, but I will not accept that, to justify their fear of losing their wealth. They are not in danger of losing their wealth.
As for me, I have been praying and crying for others and how I do not want any of us to suffer, but when you have experienced poverty for real and not just as some poetic metaphor, you know that yes there is great suffering in loss of what you have, but you have already suffered greatly, and if becoming an activist on behalf of the poor including women, infants, children and men who are sick and or disabled, is in order, than so be it. Maria Antoinette said, "let them eat cake" when a man stopped her in the streets of Paris to say, "my family has no bread to eat." She and Louis XVI were beheaded.
This lack of compassion breeds from ignorance. It is even repugnant to me, to hear people talk of illusion philosophically, to explain human suffering when they are not the ones experiencing it. I have studied Meher Baba my whole life along with maya which means illusion, as well as A Course in Miracles for over four years now and I still find this offensive. I feel that one ought not speak of the suffering of humanity or the Avatar Himself in these terms, not in my book anyway. I disagree with some interpretations of A Course in Miracles when it comes to two things as far as I am concerned: (1) since it is all illusion, there is not much need to concern oneself with the world's injustices because everything happened and nothing happened at once, although in a sense true, and (2) I feel that when Jesus Christ was on the cross, He really did say, "Father, why hast Thou forsaken me?" and yes this was His humanness and not a "belief system" as some ACIM people might say. It may not have been part of the writing in which Helen channeled Jesus for Bill to take dictation of in the 1960's in New York City, but is no doubt one of the most beautiful things Jesus gave to humanity as a whole.
I feel that the phrase 'cruel to be kind' is about tough love, ex: you are married to an abusive alcoholic who asks you to go out to get more booze and you say "no", or you have a teenager who begs you to let them hang out with a crowd that is doing drugs, and you say "no."
[Insert: This is unrelated, but I
thought that I should add it.]
Of course I must add that if you are with an abusive alcoholic and you are a woman, it would also be wise to take yourself and your children (if you have any) to a shelter if you are in danger, call a trusted friend, and go to Alanon, a support group for spouses, parents, children or loved ones of alcoholics (all of this may apply if you are a man as well, except that women are usually in more danger due to being the physically less strong and therefore more vulnerable sex).
If you, yourself, think you may have a problem with alcohol, Alcoholics Anonymous has helped many to stay sober, although it is not for everyone, and is not the only way. Twelve step programs are very spiritual, and I think that the twelve steps are something everyone would benefit from, especially the fourth step, taking a searching and fearless moral inventory of oneself and step five, admitted to God, oneself and another human being the nature of our wrongs, six and seven, asking God humbly to remove character defects and short comings, nine, making amends if appropriate and if it would not cause more harm and ten, "when we were wrong promptly admitted it," and continued to make amends, as well as eleven, maintained conscious contact with God as we understood Him through prayer and meditation. Like all other dealings with people, the twelfth tradition of AA is "principles before personalities." Many alcoholics are sick people, and there are clashes which are discouraging and cause members to give up and go back out, finding less support on returning, because egos get in the way of helping others, which is the twelfth step. But, for some people a drinking problem may be a passing phase, and not necessarily indicative of being an alcoholic forever if one's drinking can stay moderate and under control. Believe it or not, many people go through passing phases in their lives related to circumstances. For instance, a person who has a break down, does not necessarily have a mental illness. Stress and strain can cause all kinds of changes in people, and these changes do not necessarily last, which is an uplifting thought. In fact some people have camelion like qualities, that enable them to phase from one thing to another, and sometimes the very people who act the most sane, may really have more problems than one would know. For instance, many psychologists and psychiatrists have problems themselves, which is what may have triggered their interest in the field of psychology to begin with, and I am not generalizing when I say this, because I am sure that this is often not the case whatsoever.
Back on point, the concept of tough love has nothing what so ever to do with taking away from the poor what little they have.
To be thorough I would like to add the other four steps I left out: 1) admitted we were powerless over alcohol and our lives had become unmanageable, 2) that only a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity, 3) made a conscious contact with God as we understood Him, and 8) made a list of all those we had harmed and were willing to make amends to them all. We find who these individuals are by doing a fourth and fifth step with the help of a sponsor, someone we fully trust and know would never gossip. I realize that looking at all of this work ahead, it can be easy to have "stood at the turning point, we balked... What an order, how can I go through with it?" It is hard sometimes not to balk. It goes on to say "we wanted an easier softer way, but the result was nil until we let go absolutely..." excerpt from How it Works from the book, Alcoholics Anonymous.
As the book The Road Less Traveled begins: "Life is hard." I wish that it was not. Perhaps by listening to philosophers like Eckhart Tolle, a personal favorite of mine and my son's as well, one can find some ease.
I was once having a meal with a guy who took me on my first Harley Davidson ride, which was really fun. We were talking, while I was eating my reuben sandwich. I was talking about some experience and how it was resolved. I said, "and so then I felt better, because... this girl told me the same thing happened to her." As I recall I was talking about feeling humiliated and ridiculed in a situation.
He said, "why ya gotta feel better?" I write it like that because he spoke that way for real.
I said "I don't know."
When I thought back on our conversation, I thought, "Hmm, he is a philosopher of sorts. Why do I have to feel better? Feelings are not facts anyway, and this too shall pass." But I admit sometimes the heart can use some comfort.
I hope you enjoyed this lengthy essay. Love to all. Namaste.
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