This book is for women, but from reading it I am learning a lot. For one, there is nothing wrong with a woman earning more than her spouse, but the type of man who tries to be supported completely, and I mean not temporarily because he is out of a job, but all the time, first of all does not really love the woman, but does not have normal instinctual behavior of a man.
Also, many of us over forty are tired of the dating scene, the games, the dos and don'ts. We all know it gets old, although I did feel a sense of empowerment when the last man I dated told me he was in love with his last girlfriend, (the kind I call always one girlfriend behind although truth be known, I was never really his girlfriend) and I told him after the party we went to which was with my friends, and he had never told me before hand that he felt this way, that I thought it best we not see one another again. I could not figure for the life of me why he did not call ahead to say he just could not take me to the party. I even offered that he drop me off and I would find another ride home. Strange. Being legally blind, I do not drive, maybe he was being nice and thought I would have trouble getting a ride, but he had a lot of time to tell me... Never mind that.
What I am saying is at a certain point it all gets old, not to sound trite or cynical. Another thing Steve says is that independent women who can take care of themselves, turn men off. I am legally blind, but I think I might fit that category, because I am very independent. Still, I think that although men do not usually like relationship books and so forth, there is a lot to be said for some of Steve Harvey's remarks. But, here is what I am critical of in his rhetoric. He says things like women should wait three months to sleep with a man, because if she does not, then he thinks she is not worth waiting for. Well, that sounds like a double standard if I ever heard one.
I mean it makes it sound like men can be man whores and that is just fine, but women are supposed to withhold sex as long as possible to ensure a commitment. Truthfully, I do not believe in sex outside of marriage due to my religion, but still being an enlightened feminist I find this type of attitude a bit offensive. He says women have all this power, and in a sense we do sometimes. However, I have found that once a man gets disenchanted with me, I have no power. I realize this is self deprecating, and maybe I should become a comedian like Steve, since comedians are self deprecating sometimes, lol.
Also he says things like "leave the house coats and hair rollers until he's really into you." That is stupid and sexist. It gets really tiresome to impress a guy, and you know how Cole Porter songs always have lines like, "you obviously don't adore me", "you can't see your future with me", and Adam Duritz from the counting crows, "so much rejection in every connection," or Alanis Morrissette's song, "I feel so unsexy for someone so beautiful, so unloved for someone so fine, so boring for someone so interesting, so ignorant for someone of sound mind." I think people often feel these ways. But, truthfully although confidence is good, I find this rejectedness a little endearing, maybe because these are songs. It is not that I have not rejected anyone myself. I have and still feel bad about some of it.
I just think it is kind of dumb telling married women, "as long as you keep looking good..." There is no excuse for cheating, etc. and frankly I think Steve Harvey is a chauvinistic guy who is full of crap. LOL
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