I am not sure how I have survived the last few days. I wish I could tell you about them, but it is all personal. I do not know how I keep going sometimes, not to make anyone feel sorry for me. In fact pity, people being condescending, etc., is the last thing in the world, I or most people want.
No one wants to be pitiful, and like, oh poor so in so. You know? No matter how life gets, maybe they are right that God does not give you more than you can handle. Who knows? But, I do not even think I like who I am anymore, but I have studied the Course in Miracles, and I know it does not matter. There is no 'specialness' in a Course in Miracles, and all is illusion. Thank God, because this world is a nightmare, but somehow a certain amount of peace can envelop an enlightened person. I never said 'God realized.' Enlightened does not mean that in my language.
My blogs are going to be less personal from now on. I realize I have been too open about my life sometimes. I no longer wish to be.
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