It's funny how people drift apart. When I was about eleven, my second to oldest half sister, who was six or seven years older than me, said those lines to that song reminded her of me. We were in our room, in my parents house, listening to the song on her album, and she said that.
We have not spoken in over ten years, eleven I guess. I will not get into why. It is just funny how people drift apart.
It is sometimes more than that. There is some underlying deep seeded issue, that no one can talk about. Any feelings of love or fondness, or even good will get put aside, forgotten.
People forget that they ever loved you, or felt close to you. They choose only to look at what it is they do not accept about you.
It is just funny that way. I do not really know the reasons. People hurt people, and they do not even look back, or even think about it, nor care. It is like you knew them in another life, an alternate universe. Truthfully, I rarely think about it now.
You can be born from the same mother, have once lived in the same home, but it makes no difference sometimes.
We were like two sets of kids. My mother had two girls, the oldest and her, the one I'm referring to, when she married me father. Then my brother was born, and then me.
I never wanted the half sibling thing to matter, but it really did, because my sisters were always much closer to each other, than to me, and I guess still are. I suppose I am closest to my brother, although I do have a relationship with my oldest sister, who does not have a problem with me.
I have two sons, and they have half siblings, their father's kids, but although I know they like them, they are so much younger than my kids, even though their dad is much older than me. It is all a bit strange, I suppose.
It is funny, though, how people drift apart, no longer care for each other, nor love each other or even want a relationship with each other. It is just the way it is, just karma, I suppose. Maybe it is past life stuff.
I never did anything to offend her. She just put this huge wedge between us, and now the damage is done in a sense, the bridges are burned, and no one wants to make any step towards a reconciliation. It is okay with me, but I admit it is a little strange.
I think I am sometimes haunted by the past, by my childhood, the sixties, seventies, eighties, nineties. I cannot believe I am the same person I was when I was born, and yet some relationships are constant. My friends, my mother, my father's memory, my brother, my other sister, my kids, even my ex-husband is not on bad terms with me.
I do not really talk to ex-boyfriends, although if Alan had lived, we would probably be friends, at least sometimes, but as my son said, I may have glorified Alan, because he died. He was okay, but probably not as wonderful as I sometimes make him out to be, God rest his soul, no disrespect.
Life is strange. 'People are strange' The Doors, Jim Morrison
No comments:
Post a Comment