Even in the worst, most dramatic situations of my life, there have always been at least one or two or three kind people who made a difference. There are also people with agendas, control freaks, power hungry people, people who just enjoy the suffering of others... There are all kinds of people in the world, but the kind ones are the ones I like to remember.
A Course in Miracles has shown me that I am not my story, even now. That is why I am not interested in telling my story anymore. I have told enough in articles. Perhaps someday, if someone sponsors me in terms of editing and so forth, I will write an autobiography, but it may come out too much like Rachel Brown's book, When All the Fishes Come Home to Roost, which I read and most Baba people condemn, as though they do not want to hear the story of a little girl. What is the harm in knowing someone else's inside experience? Will it make your illusions fall and that is too scary? I saw that girl when her name was Mani when she lived in India with her Mom, when I was there in '96. Even Baba's beloved Mehera, defended and cared for her. She was sad and lonely.
So many people are so caught in their own falsehood, that they will not look at the big picture or anyone else's experience. I know what it is like to grow up behind the scenes of a spiritual cult. I am not saying that Baba is not who he said he was, but technically in a textbook sense, it is a cult. In fact it is listed as a cult, but so is Jehovah Whiteness, Course in Miracles and Seventh Day Adventist for that matter. It is just a word.
Kindness makes a difference. In school, most people had some mean teachers and some kind or mean parent or sibling who could be kind sometimes. Are not the kind things the things to remember?
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