Being the Light of the World by Raising Consciousness

    There are so many hindering emotions that can drag one down into a lower consciousness causing unhappiness.  Resentment, anger, jealously, feeling less than, left out, sick, depressed, anxious, and the list goes on.  All these negative emotions can be transcended, though sometimes not easy I know.   It is OK to feel these things.  
     However, when I know that my ego is running the show, and my higher self that is Godly and angelic is pushed aside, I catch myself.  I make mistakes, big ones all the time, but I make amends when it will not do more harm than good to anyone involved including myself.  I contact God through nature and wait for inner guidance.
     Everyone I know has feelings of jealousy, rage, despair, frustration, health problems.  If one thinks of oneself as feeling well, it helps. I have a visual impairment, a disability, but if I think of myself as whole rather than impaired, I feel better about myself rather than less than.  I used to get all into self pity, like "oh I"m just a poor little blind girl, no one loves me, no one ever will, I have less..."
     I was doing myself no good at all with this low self-esteem and negative ideas of myself.  I am a strong woman, a smart woman, and a good woman.  I no longer need to self-deprecate.  
     Most people my age have some health problems, minor or serious and some of us even need to take medications.  I think if we dwell on our sickness rather than the ways in which we are healthy, then we are lingering in negativity.  I want to feel grateful for the ways in which I am healthy.  
     Like many people I have had a difficult life, and I have when I was younger made the wrong choices still not understanding my own 
difficulties at the time, because I know that the choices were clear, like staying in an abusive relationship too long in the '90's even though my friends were warning me, and how attached I was to that person, and at the same time how desperately I wanted to disentangle myself from him, really did not want to be with him anymore.  Still, my emotional involvement and attachment were unhealthy.
     I did not get involved with the healing movement until around 2007 when I began doing yoga and three years prior had begun to feel better about myself after getting out of another unhealthy relationship that had nearly been the end of me.  I healed, and sometimes it seems like it would be nice to rewrite the past, but what was has already happened and we do not need to be stuck in our story, including me.  
      I suppose my healing began with yoga, then a Course in Miracles, becoming a Reiki Master, twelve steps, meditation and a lot of self help books.  I do have a mentor of sorts, and she helps me a lot, although I only call her once in a while.  She is also my friend.
     I am not saying that all my anger and other deadly emotions are gone and I am perfect.  That would be a long way from the truth.  I still get jealous, left out, angry and all that, but I am not going to be ruled by these thoughts.  I have decided as the Course in Miracles says in the workbook, "I choose peace over this."  Another is "I am never upset for the reason I think."  Another is "in my defenselessness, my safety lies."  In other words, I do not need to defend myself against attack.  Attacks are a cry for love, and if I attack someone I am crying for love and hurting myself.  Namaste, shanti, shanti.  Oh, and lastly, "I am the light of the world."  ACIM.